Dougal: The Spider Baby, Ted.
It's got the body of a spider but it's actually a Baby.
Ted: How is it a baby? Does it have a nappy on it?
Ted: Well, um does it have the head of a Baby?
Dougal: errm... No.
Ted: Well, if it looks like a spider, and it doesn't actually gurgle at you or anything; how do you know it's a baby?
Dougal: They keep it in a pram.
(1) Where are all the pencils? (2) Whose turn is it to make the tea? (3) Is anybody going to Ikea because we really need some more pencils? (4) Do you print on Black? and (5) Can people please stop stirring their tea with the pencils?
None of which we felt were particularly helpful, (apart from the one about printing on Black), so instead we decided to make a list of useful Answers so that people wouldn't need to ask Questions quite so frequently and they would be able to find out if we printed on Black.
The absolute best way to measure your shirt is to dig out your favourite most comfortable T-Shirt ever, lay it flat on a table, and measure armpit to armpit. That way you get the most comfortable fit for you.
The base colour of the shirt affects the appearance of the printed image: White gives a Crisp, Bright image, Ash a Cool, Muted image, and Natural a Warm, Vintage image.
You will notice that none of the shirt colours mentioned above is Black. We don't print onto Black.
Even if you come back and ask us again 6 months later, we still don't print onto Black.
There are technical reasons, and seriously we could write paragraphs about it and bore the pants off you but the bottom line is: we print on White, Ash Grey and Natural and we don't print onto Black...
Not even a little bit.
Whenever possible, to help maximize the life of the printed image, Hand Washing in Warm Water is recommended.
Ideally this should be done by the light of a full moon with dew gathered by virgin pixies - but this is optional.
When a slightly more vigorous wash is required....
Turn the Garment Inside Out and wash at 40 degrees.
Hand Iron, setting at 'cotton'.
BUT BEWARE THE FIVE EVIL PRINT GOBLINS
DRY CLEAN, BOIL WASH, TUMBLE DRY,
STEAM PRESS, USE BLEACH
All these can have DISASTEROUS results on the image!
(and yes, I am shouting... I'm really, really shouting!)
After washing, the colours may appear to fade
PANIC YE NOT!
Ironing directly over the Image (setting 'cotton')
will help revitalise the colours.
Ironing Directly (ie with the Iron in Direct Contact
with the Print) will not damage the Image.
Honest... No matter what your Mom tells you.
I've done it loads of times and it's almost completely bloke proof. Just don't leave the Iron on the shirt while you're off chasing the dog because it's nicked your socks...
otherwise no sweat.
And finally - Wear With Humility
Remember, not everyone has such good taste as you!
Printing: is done by Thermal Press.
The print does not have a raised plasticky texture, the inks are embedded into the fabric of the T-Shirt.
Shirt prints measure upto 27cmx19cm (approx), depending on the design proportions and the garments printable area.
We do not stock pre-printed shirts. All of our shirts are Printed To Order.
We can remove, tweak or replace text, add personalisation, change the size and position of images... print one of your own designs, or help design t-shirts for an event... Stag/Hen Nights, Fun Runs etc.
To ask about customising your shirt just email us at email@example.com
Made To Order: We want you to be really chuffed with your purchase. To avoid disappointment always check your measurements against our size chart (armpit to armpit) to ensure a comfortable fit.
But Hey - mistakes happen, and if, in spite of all precautions, you do make an incorrect sizing choice,
just return your shirt to us within 14 days of receipt, unworn and with tags attached, for a full refund of the purchase price or a replacement shirt. No quibbles!
(* does not apply to personalised printed shirts)
Heaven forbid but if we make a right pigs ear of your order please get in touch with us straight away, and we’ll arrange a refund or replacement along with a grovelling apology.
Afterwards the drone responsible for the error will have their diodes removed and their conducters short-circuited (again!).
You don’t mess with the Carrot.
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That’s just silly.
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LazyCarrot is based in the UK and is wholly and exclusively subject to UK Law and International Law as interpreted by the UK Courts, in respect of which all designs are here presented in good faith.
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(Digital Millenium Copyright Act),
and to respond to any such enquiry promptly and appropriately.
In respect of which please contact us with any concerns at firstname.lastname@example.org for our immediate attention.